If you name it, you can mock it.

I've recently come back to school. It's a trip, and definetely something you can only do when you're motivated. A little break helps with that as does another dose of the crappy realities of the real world. Going back to school puts the working world in sharp relief. Especially when working for a moral dwarf. You get rewarded for good work instead of being punished for all work... good or bad. Such a sharp contrast makes it feel really good to not work for said moral dwarf any more.

So I've recently been re-introduced to one of the great joys of school... figuring out the other students, and mentally making up stories, blog entries, deeply sarcastic jokes and other observations. Each class has oportunities ripe for satire.

That said, I don't know names the names of these people. And half the fun is making up a name to identify each target. Nicknames are like descriptive tags. They help you remember why you singled that person out for ridicule in the first place.

My East Asian Cultures and Civilizations class has quite a few tags created already:

• The Mumbler was identified early. In the first 10 minutes of class while the professor tried to identify what we knew about the topic he wouldn't shut up. He's obviously watched a lot of anime because he knows a lot about the edo period of japan. Quite a popular topic for many of the mainstream japanimation kind of like how many dime novels were about the wild west and unsettled frontier. He would contribute, get cut off and continue to mumble. He's proven himself to be a mostly ok guy, but a bit nosey and quite talkative. I think he's quite impressed with our next character.
• The Elder Statesman is an older man who is in school part time and is a substitute teacher on the other days. He's been Hong Kong once on business but has a real handle on the real world. His comments during class usually do something to highlight these facts.
• The Mumbler has a cohort, and I'm not totally sure what to call him. I'm tempted to name him The Cohort or maybe The Weasel. I'm annoyed with how he couches all his comments in weasel comments like "It's possible that" or "Might it be" and never takes a stand on one thing. Yet, it's pretty clear that these are his opinions, and he wants them to be heard or he wants to be recognized for them.
• The Screaming Greenie is so named for her outfit on the first day. Bright green t-shirt with marvin the martian eyes and matching converse hightops. She too has cohorts of the Drama Geek kind. A large butch looking girl and a fuzzy mushroom haired girl. The hair is frizzy fuzzy, not the girl. Well maybe by extension she is...

I've got a Technical Writing course with:

• The teacher, Sarcasmo. She's got a lot of technical writing and teaching experience. However, two boys of her own has left her with the idea that sarcasm is the only way to reach a younger audience. This is most prevalent when nobody in the class wants to speak up and give her the answer she's looking for.
• The Thoughtful Doodler is so named for her penchant for doodling and thoughtfulness. The doodle is sometimes lost in thought sculpting bubble letters. She creates her name, her boyfriend's name and explores deep issues like ''I can't decide if i love or hate him" and what their children's names would be. She still finds time to interject "I just thought of this..." and contributes something to a conversation a bit too late. Also, she has a really beautiful face.

My last class is Management, and though there are some interesting characters... none have earned a nickname. We just got assigned groups so I'm sure some tagging will happen soon.

My thoughts of nicknames and tags came from something that happened today. It got me thinking about how to write it up for the blog and thus how to identify the main players. I sometimes read The Big Picture Guy's weblog, and it seemed appropriate. I've had some of these nicknames for a while and this is the result.

Sitting the classroom today before my East Asian class The Screaming Greenie and the Drama Friends got into trouble. The were telling each other about This Really Funny Guy They Knew In The Drama Department In High School, but like, really loudly. The wall that separates our room from the next is one of those movable false walls.

The professor from the class on the other side came over with one of his students to speak with them and quiet them down. Aside from his whole southern california mode of confrontation and accent one thing really made me laugh. Direct quote -

"I didn't know if a bunch of stoners had taken over the room next door or what."

I nearly snorted soda through my nose, and though that would hurt like a bitch... it would have been worth it.