"It's absurd. To make a moral equation between chickens and humans belittles the people who died through the various methods of murder at the hands of the Nazis. "

--Roz Rothstein, daughter of Holocaust survivors

Read the article.  It IS absurd!  PETA is now drawing comparisons between the treatment of chickens, to that of Jews during the Holocaust. Their goal is to convert more people to vegetarianism.  Are the conditions of animals bred for consumption inhumane?  Yes.  Are those animals human?  NO!  When a pig or a cow or a chicken makes a significant contribution to society I may then consider the treating these animals as human.

Other shocking quotes:

PETA is known for its zealous advocacy of animals' rights – often above human rights.

Earlier this month, PETA spoke out against Middle East terrorism instigated by Palestinian Authority leader Yasser Arafat after an explosives-laden donkey was used in a bomb attack in the West Bank.

No humans were killed in the incident, but the explosion narrowly missed an Israeli bus carrying soldiers.

PETA President Ingrid Newkirk sent a letter to Arafat, pleading with him to "appeal to all those who listen to you to leave the animals out of this conflict."

Newkirk has not raised any objection over suicide bombings that kill people.

"It's not my business to inject myself into human wars," she told the Washington Post.

As WorldNetDaily reported, PETA was part of a coalition that succeeded in getting constitutional protection for pigs in Florida last November. The $1.4 million ballot initiative amended the state constitution to limit the "cruel and inhumane confinement of pigs during pregnancy."

Idealism is a powerful thing, but it's shameful when it loses connection with reality!  The Holocaust was a great and terrible thing.  I fear for society as time distances us from the horrors.  When the memory has faded such that human experience can be degraded in this way, we deny the victims of tragedy their dignity.  If PETA wishes to convert people to vegetarianism, fine.  However, destroying the memory of the Holocaust and thus weakening our resolve to prevent further tragedy is not appropriate.

I was most amused by the article about the whole sex movie at Indiana University.  Here's an article about it...

Remember the story about the California porn crew and video company that showed up at Indiana University last fall in Bloomington, persuaded a number of students to engage in sex acts on and off campus and then released what we used to quaintly call a "dirty movie" in December? This is a story that just won't crawl away and die, folks. (And let's get this out of the way. You can indeed blame the news media; we keep resuscitating the body).

And why are we doing it, besides the obvious -- that we are only one cut or so above the wicked, godless pornographers themselves?

First, there's still a buzz. The latest is a report that aired Thursday on "Inside Edition," which revealed -- get ready for a news flash -- that alcohol played a prominent role in the making of this sleaze.

According to crack investigative national TV reporters, the evil porn crew brought two 30-packs of beer to one party in order to get the action going.

This hot scoop made the Bloomington Herald-Times last week, which noted that "Inside Edition" "suggested students made their decisions when their judgment was impaired by alcohol."

Oh, those poor babies. I wonder if their mommies know they had their little judgments impaired.

Puh-leeze. According to Calli Cox of Shane Enterprises -- that's the video company -- the performers were invited. Kinda like vampires: They can't come in unless you ask them.

"We sent out a mass e-mail to different campus organizations, from frats to the bowling team to the legalization of marijuana, telling 'em these are the dates we are looking at coming," says Cox. "Several contacted us back, and those are the ones we kept in touch with."

Of course. And the result was, and is, an ongoing rush on the video, "Shane's World, Vol. 32, Campus Invasion," which is still selling well; some outlets have reduced the $39.95 price (an outrage) to $29.95.

So what is the fatal attraction here, exactly?

First, let's dispense with what it is not. It is not, even by porn industry standards, a good video. It is a yawner.

Take Roger's Review -- no, that's not Roger Ebert, just some horndog Roger X who writes about these things in excruciating detail online (what a great country).

After three pages in which Roger mechanically describes every sex scene, he boils it down to this: "At two and a half hours, this movie runs a little long in places, but if you like the party stuff and girls gone wild type of footage then you're going to be just fine with the stuff in between the scenes."

Excuuuse me, Roger. It is "the stuff in between the scenes" that is generating sales (and heat) here in Hoosierland. It is the sad possibility of actually seeing someone you might actually recognize.

And if you want to blame anybody for that, pin it on reality TV. You know, all those shows that originated in Europe (blame Europe) in which a camera runs as people live their pathetic lives.

Of course, in reality TV, everybody is a star. Nowhere is that concept more transparent than at the video's end, when you meet a student named Baxter.

"We got the number one party school," says Baxter. "You want to be me. You really do. I may be drunk, but this is gonna be on VH-1. If my parents see this, I'm sorry, Mom and Dad. But I'm gonna be a rock star soon."

Sure, kid.

So, I wish i could say my car is back together.  But it's not.  I wish i could say that Heather and I were dating.  But we're not.  I wish i could say that my exams last week all went well.  But they didn't.  Wishes are nice things that aren't happening.  And wishing without working wrecks the wish.

I had to return to campus after i helped dad get all of the two person jobs done.  but once he gets some more parts, things that might as well be replaced while they're accessible, he can complete the job with out any strain or too much effort.  I wish i could have stayed to help, but i needed to get back to school.  Mostly at dad's request.

Heather.  What can i say about her and our situation?  Maybe if we were in the same town, we'd be dating.  Maybe if her history were a little different, we'd be dating.  Maybe if, Maybe If, MAYBE IF... ifs and wishes, they're just sad reminders that things aren't the way you'd like them to be.  Anyway, I really like the girl, but we have no specific claim on each other.  In time, things may be different and until then...

Classes & Exams.  OOF.  'nuff said.

So as far as conferences go... I feel like i accomplished some good things today.  It's working out well to do conference stuff MWF after class.  Bill from HelmsBriscoe and I talked for a while.  He'll have a whole bunch of hotel prices for me at the end of the week.  I found a website a few days ago that allows me to fill out form and get RFPs from a pool of 1000's of hotels and conference sites.  I set a deadline for that at the end of the week.  I also put in a few RFPs with colleges, hopefully they'll get back to me soon.  Otherwise Paul and I won't have anything to talk about when we meet to talk about locations!

lol... i just checked the rankings of most accessed weblogs... i'm down at like 10 or so... wooooowheeeeeee!  i guess it would make a bigger difference to me if i were doing this for the glory...  it's an easier way to update friends, and it's a running log of my thoughts.  see my comments from jan 30th or so...  it's already brought about a higher level of self awareness.  and i can cut, paste and edit the comments into an email for my mother so it doesn't seem like i'm "cutting her out of my life."  i've noticed katie and claude have a little competition going... i wonder how long they can keep it up.

Anyway, if you are reading this... thanks, I guess.  drop me a line, let me know what you're up to... take care...

     -BG

Heather,

    Thanks for a great date.

-BG

My car smells funny.  It smells like burned up transmission.  Go Figure.  I just drove it 3 hours from Lafayette, IN to Naperville, IL.  About 140 miles, traversing back roads at 60 mph, blowing stop signs, gently throttling up to cruising speed and Jeff following behind me ready to pick up the transmission should it fall from my car.

Jeff, God bless you man.  You've got a heart of gold.  Thanks for following me almost the whole way.  Thank goodness Missy was flying in to Ohare tonight.  Girl, I hope you enjoy the middle of nowhere.  I'm kinda ashamed I only know what you look like because Jeff keeps pointing out your ass in the photos from New Years Eve in Atlanta, but I'm sure you're cool.  I wish you joy with the boy, just don't break him, he's delicate.

Sigh.  Tomorrow will be spent pulling my transmission out of Whitey (my car).  Hopefully, by the close of normal business hours, I'll have the tranny out and another purchased or some kind of alternative planned.  I'm not sure i should be heartened by the fact that Dad had several used car ads circled in the paper he handed me this evening.  However, the economics of the situation are an interesting consideration. 

Is my car worth the $600 to $700 needed to purchase a new transmission, plus the hours of labor (mine or those of a mechanic) or would it be better to purchase another vehicle?  In theory, i could get a new car with no interest & payments until next year.  Will i have a job in a year with which to make those payements?  A comparable used car can be found in the 2000 to 3000 dollar range.  Parts and labor for transmission replacement in Chicagoland can easily fill or exceed that range.

hmmmmmmmmmm i knew things were going waay to well recently.  or were they?.. i'm not sure if bad things clump up in a mystical cosmic nodes of karma.  Like hot and cold spots in a microwave - the waves used to excite water molecules can either cancel each other out, or combine to greater amplitude.  It's why the rotating platters even out cooking so well.  What if luck was like that?.. Luck seems to grow and ebb or sometimes collect both positively and negitively on certain people.  (I'm ignoring, for the time, the idea of fate and determinism.)

Alternatively, it could just be my mental focus recognizing and concentrating on specific types of events in my life.  Once i achieve a certain mood or mindset, my mind starts looking for certain patterns to fit that mood.  Analyzing each event and filtering out those that don't fit the pattern or heuristic defined by the mood.  Happy people notice good things, unhappy people notice bad things.  It's a kind of circular thinking; fueling and feeding itself until something breaks through the filter and alters the mood or mindset.

Have you ever considered that it might be easier, and happier, to go through life as an idiot or fool?.. I have.  It's entirely too easy to over-analyze things.  By having more tools for analysis and experiences for comparison, reflection quickly becomes more complex.  Complexity leads to confusion, and deep reflection leads to realizations of how far the current situation differs from the desired situation.  

Use the two previous paragraphs as an example.

Hopefully this weekend will yield postive results in the area of transportation.  I'm looking forward to Mom's cooking, time with Heather and possibly some time with my nephew.  Keeping with the cosmic sense of humour, Michelle and my godson sunti have left chicagoland for West Lafayette this evening.  I hope Murphy is roasting in hell and God's lawyers are looking for loopholes in his laws.

Anyway, I go in search of sweet dreams...

     -BG

I'm currently celebrating my 37th consecutive hour of consciousness.  I've been dying to go home and sleep, but duty calls, and if i went home, i wouldn't resurface until late 2004.  I'm not sure if my eye is twitching because of sleep deprivation or because of how much i've stared at the computer screen this afternoon.  I'm also not sure of the current reality, because to me, due to lack of sleep, it should still be tuesday.  I could have sworn that it was 9pm at 3 this afternoon.

But, i've accomplished a fair amount.  I dealt with different conference things... answered a number of emails, scheduled meetings, researched conference venues, submitted an RFP through a company which has contacts with nearly a thousand conference venues, dealt with my NDA, and now, i'm trying sooo hard not to cave in to the siren call of the couch here in the office.  I'd like do little doodlings of roles... but i may save that for the GE.  It's fun being the old curmudgeon in the back...

you know i can remember when that meant trying to work the telecommunications systems to get free phonecalls or to places you just shouldn't be... quite dead now.

anyway, i am freaking for real.  it seems my last ditch effort to study for today's exam has sparked questions about the realism of passing certain classes.  and what that does to my future class schedule and likelyhood of graduation.  can i drop a class, regroup on the others, save my precious gpa and still graudate on time.

also though, i wonder about what my current planned class schedule is doing to me.  if you've been reading for the whole three weeks i've been bloggin, you know that last christmas break was a month long, and also twice as long as any break i've had since march of '99.  I've got a full load planned for this summer and then again in the fall.  The breaks i'd get this summer, a week before summer term (most likely cut a week short by SSC) and two weeks after the last summer session.  Then into fall term.

I'm freaking. 

any time my shoulders are this tight, i have to reevaluate.

     -BG

ARGH!..  It's amazing aside from my one class today, i've spent the whole damn day searching for a cheap way to replace my transmission.  NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!  I've been quoted a lowest price of about $1400 to as high as $2700!  WTF?!

I could go as low as about $600 to $700 if i can get my car home, then dad and i would buy the parts and do the labour ourselves.  How insane is that?  That's only about 14 to 16 hours of my life lost.  With no classes on friday, and if dad took the day off, we could probably get it all done on friday, provided i can nurse my car home thursday and get the parts.  i had my tranny diagnosed today, and i asked the tech how many more miles i could extract... apparently i can get a fair amound of local around town miles, but my car would burn up if i tried to go on the highway...  so how the hell am i supposed to nurse my car home?.. with my luck, i'd have to go back roads, and it'd be a blinding snowstorm, then my car would fail at the absolute WORST spot of the storm where there was no cell reception.  Or something like that.

Oh well... up early, study for exams, do classes, do exams... find a way to get jes to the airport... then get back home to an exam..  ARGH!  what's life with out the drama?

      -BG

It's only been 5 days, but yet it feels like so much more.  I've fallen from the list of top 100 read sites, and really haven't touched any others.  But excuses and assholes are quite similar, we only care about our own.

Exams are a pain in the ass.  Two last week, and another three next week.  It makes going out with Jes tough.  I feel bad that she hasn't seen more of the night life around here.  Drink specials are insane around here.  But the weather has been cold, and we've had enough wine to really make going out a bad idea.

Friday was just an overall good day.  One class: Business law.  The prof is just funny, and shares a LOT of examples from his own practice.  I'm shocked at the idiocy he deals with.  So i always walk out with a smile, and a shake of the head.

Then, somebody made a pact with the devil and put Myself, Alicia, Suzanne, Paul and Steph on ONE conference call.  But we made some good decisions, set some action points, and i feel much better about things...  if only there no exams next week! 

Purdue left for YES at Ohio, and Jes and I headed home to make sushi.  We found sashimi grade tuna and some salmon, and proceded to roll some damn tasty sushi.  Unfortunately, by the time we got the sushi made, it was time to leave for indy.  Note well: sushi travels well.  Sushi in a tupperware (oh well didn't get to use my sushi plates that i bought for impressing sushi lovin women) and hop in the car... In a freezing rain storm... BUT we got to Gaia Winery on time. 

We had reservations for "Romance in the Cellar."  Which was a flight of wine (Merlot, Blueberry, Rose Petal and Champagne) and three deserts.  There was a jazz pianist in the corner.  To get to our table, we got a tour of the winery which has the only female winemaker in indiana, and is the only entirely female owned winery in the united states.  It was wonderful experience overall.  It's a shame that Jes and i aren't really romantically entagled like that.  But when a woman throws down a statement like "I've never had a good or even decent Valentines Day" it's time for a real man to sack up and show her what romance could be like.

The trip home... TOUGH!  The snow storm had just reached indy.  The hour drive from indy to lafayette turned into a TWO and a HALF hour trek as we started at 50 mph, then 40 mph, then 30 mph and eventually 20 mph!  ON AN INTERSTATE!  it was amazingly bad, but we arrived safe.  Wow was my nice and toasty apartment nice to come home to.

Unfortunately, my car is acting goofy, and i need to get my transmission looked at tomorrow.  Tomorrow starts a new week!  Lots of things happening, 3 exams, Location hunting for SSC, Location hunting for an AIESEC Purdue Alumni event, Jes goes home EARLY on friday and then all the normal eventry of my life.

Stay safe, Stay warm, hope your valentines day didn't suck...

      -BG

Not in any real, affirmative action, quota filling type of way.  More like the little assumptions we make about our friends and their abilities...  I've been trying to help Katie from EC do some things on her weblog.  I'm not really sure where she got the idea that i would know how to solve her problem and help her.  Even though i've been blogging for two weeks, she was right. 

Somehow i've gotten a 'reputation' as somebody who can deal with technology.  Amy Kirschner was in awe of me, and that was odd to me, because i was/am in awe of other people.  (Bowing to the great Adam and Dody... and Paola you get an honorable mention for rocking my world so many times... Kai i'm sure i'll grow to love you soon.)  I envy those people for their ability to enjoy raw coding and problem solving, i haven't done that since i got my associates degree.  I've long since come to grips though with the realization that i cannot do that as a career, hence my journey into management, and quite possibly event management.  I always enjoyed problem solving, but as an engineering student, it was the wrong type of problems.  As a programming student, both the problems and tools for carrying out the possible solutions were better, but still the wrong type.  Some of the problems posed in my management classes have been right, but i'm awkward with the tools given to solve the problem.  (Finance classes, you suck my balls...) 

The problems I've encountered through AIESEC, well... it's hard to call them right, as i'm uncomfortable with the ideas of racism, of inequity, of inequality, of intolerance and many many more wrongs.  Rob Leuchs once gave me a theory about how agents of change like Diana Old, effect that change.  His proposition was that they create change by making the status quo uncomfortable or intolerable. 

I think Rob's right.  The more i learn about racism, inequity, inequality, and intolerance: the more i say, the more i feel, the more i act, the    more    I     Think,        and all the better to be uncomfortable with.  In a sense, AIESEC is an agent of change.  We sent people out into the world, to gain perspective and clarity, and to come home uncomfortable with the status quo.  So irritated that they change their small chunk of the world...

I'm not sure how i got from being stereotyped as a helpful neighborhood geek to the mission of AIESEC, but thank you katie for making me think through some things.

Uncomfortable and still chaffing...

     -BG

Spent most of yesterday doing homework and printing lectures off the web.  Generally preparing for the next week and my three exams.  (It was almost four, but the revolt successfully moved it to next week.)  Jes made fish tacos with mango salsa, and it was surprisingly good.  I may even steal the recipe and convert it for my own evil purposes... ;)  I figure i could probably play with it enough to make my sister like it.

Having a guest when you have things to do is tough.  But i think that movies are the answer.  Just turn one on, set some food and drink within reach, and it's the easiest form of babysitting ever!  (Jes, don't hurt me.)  And finding the time to do simple things like chatting online, or updating this weblog is tough because they feel somewhat anti-social towards my 'guest.'  Thank goodness she's got a hoast of other things to do.

So after supper and a couple bottles of wine (Hogue Gewurztremeiner 2001: a little young, but still sweet and fruity & Wolf Blass Shiraz 2001: quite smooth, and bit more oaky than i'm used to, though not bad) we sobered up a bit and went in to Harry's for more drinks.  I introduced her to a Baltimore Zoo (a sweetened girly version of a Long Island) and we sat and talked and sang and popcorn munched and people watched.  It's nice being out with female friends and still being able to ogle and comment on the hotties that wander by.  God bless Jes for trying to encourage me to find one of my own... Now if only things would workout with heather...

I'm trying to work out a Vegas trip with heather actually, but with her flying issues, and my money issues... not sure it's going to happen.  Not being online as much as normal has kept me from talking with her, though we traded a lot of text messages while at harry's last night.  For some reason, every time i'm at harry's i hear a bon jovi song, and feel compelled to text her.  maybe it has something to do with the one or two random times she's made it to harry's and how happy she looks bouncing and singing along.  Memories are a great motivator...

     -BG

Geez, what to say, or write...

Been a good week so far... It's been full of a few new things, for me and jes.  I tried Talapia stuff with crab meat and asiago... I got her to try frog legs.  There's a bar up in Brookston, Indiana called the Top Notch.  They serve dinner, Friday and Saturday evenings, and the special is a 12oz sirloin, a strip of catfish, and a set of frog legs.  The steaks in general are very good, so are the onion rings... Wouldn't expect to go to Indiana for frog legs, eh?..

Anyway, today is a lazy day full of homework and such, i get to try fish tacos with mango salsa... big 'ol hmmmmm on that one. 

    -BG

For those of you asking... here is a picture of jes.

Jes

Wow, what a fun day yesterday was.  Start off with class at 11:30, then down to indy to pick up jessica... It's always great to see good friends after a loong time.  In our case, WSC2002 - Detroit, and i'm not sure that counts because i was deathly ill and halucinating at the time.  Bless her and the other poor folk who took care of me.  We spent a couple hours catching up at Qdoba (a most excellent mexican establishment) and the drive to W.Laf.

After we got to my place, it was time to go to see Dr. Maya Angelou.  WOW.  I'm sooo impressed with that woman.  I would kill to have her as my grandmother.  Even though she spoke to a crowd of several thousand it felt like we were chatting at a semi-intimate gathering or dinner.  She recited poetry from other african poets, commented on them, and other things and also read a few of her own works.  Her comments and selections seemed to highlight not the things that make us different, but the things that make us the same.  "I am a human being," she said quoting Terance a black poet from ancient rome, 150BC "and nothing human can be alien to me."

Today's title was taken from her comments about how to approach life... and her pushes for education and literacy were extrememly compelling.  I hope the students there bother their librarians, or search for the poets and poems she recited.  My other choice for today's title was "Laugh when not tickled, Scratch when not itched."  This was another phrase she used when describing the HEros and SHEros of black forebears.  It's not uncle tom-ing or aunt jemimah-ing, but a defence mechanism to put all their their troubles aside as they worked to put their children in a better place.  She also called upon people to think about horrible conditions of the slave ships, and asked each person, of any race, to think about the troubles their own forebears overcame to come to this country.

I'm incredibly touched by her words.  I always knew that she spoke and wrote with such amazing rhythm and grace.  Not having experienced this grace before now, is something i regret.  Deeply.  I never knew about her hardships, nor would have guessed she spent the years between 7 and 13 years as a mute, unable to speak, though she soaked up so much by reading, reading, reading during that time.  I could never have imagined that she was pregnant at 16 due to curiosity, the same year the United Nations opened.  And how despairing at her own condition, and dreaming of that wonderful organization and it's opportunity and diversity helped her become who she is today.  She closed with the poem she wrote for the 25th aniverserary of the United Nations, and ended by singing 'This little light of mine" with the entire audience.  I'm honored to have been able to sing with her.

My evening closed with a beer, some discussion and the worlds best spinach-artichoke dip at The Lafayette Brewing Company.  mmmmmmmmmmmm  conversation, brew, dip and also local bands showcasing their talent... what an AMAZING DAY.  Time to start another one...

      -BG

As in, becoming one.  In my case, add an OC in front of that, not a V or an LC or anything after it either.  I just had my first meeting with Stammer, and I'm feelin good about this crazieness...  well mostly.  i know this is going to be UP and DOWN, tis going to be a growing experience.

there's just something exciting about starting a new task, or making a new goal... everything is new, there aren't many constraints, you don't know what's possible, there's no jaded-ness, lots of beautiful things

It's kinda like i feel that the position has actually started now.  So far it's just been me sitting around thinking, this is how things should be done, but NOW... i'm starting to get the knowledge and tools i need to start making things happen.  Next week we get to talk with the people responsible for contracting, budgeting, fundraising and everything else. 

LOL and claude just came into the office, spiffed up to do interviews with members, but the damn foriegner hasn't got the right kind of socks on... white socks, suit and black shoes... SMOOTH

celeste told me something the other night, along the lines of i have to just make things happen, and not let myself get pushed or bullied into any decisions.  i'm the main responsible for these things, and need to learn when to throw some weight around.  i'm paraphrasing of course...

this job has me up nights plotting.

no, really.  just that, plotting.  i stay up nights, thinking of things to do, of things that would be cool... tossing, and turning in bed... staring out the window or at the ceiling.  i'll probably do it tonight.

Part of tonight's sleeplessness will be due to jessica's arrival tomorrow.  and speak of the devil, there she is on the phone... my phone is so money though, i'm two stories below ground, and i'm getting phone calls.  if it wasn't for my new york experience i would think this is the greatest service ever, though those nextel phones we had at conference were pretty damn nice.

OMG, i'm online with Becky, who's in the national office, and says Paul just killed a mouse by breaking his neck... DUDE, don't FUCK with this guy.  he's a professional killer now, i think they should take paul's picture with the mouse and a caption like "how paul deals with unpaid LC balances... "  LOL  Check out Kai's explanation

anyway, jessica is coming tomorrow.  this'll be fun and interesting.  she has work to do, and so won't be dependent upon me for entertainment the whole time.  i'm sure we'll have fun, believe it or not, there are things to do in West LaughingAtIndiana, er West Lafayette, Indiana.  I just don't know what we're going to do the second night she's here... ;)

anyway, i really should be doing something productive, like seeing how the interviews are going upstairs, or going home and eating or doing homework... i wonder who's at harry's?..

     -BG

So mad props to me, for being verticle this morning!

OK, back to bed!..

Well, maybe not.  A few thoughts have occured to me lately...

     First, TAB doesn't work to indent paragraphs here.  Always pisses me off when i'm doing web based writing.

     Second, slim fast is a pretty big crock.  Basically, they ask you to have shakes instead of the normal meals you would have... And to control your portions in the evening.  Eventually you end up losing weight because your calorie intake is less than that required by all the fat you already have.  Well, shit.  So basically, you're asking me to watch what i eat, and have smaller portions.  IF I COULD DO THAT, I WOULDN'T NEED YOU!

    College is the devil for me, it's where i gain my weight... now i wasn't slim when i came to school, but i wasn't bad either.  but goddamn, what do you always do with friends, or while studying or doing nothin?  EAT.  (GODDAMN South Park!  My friends and i would always gather for that, and we would have to get a snack and drink to watch it.  This isn't, i'm sure, the first time South Park has been damned.)  Leave school, use a little self control, change your lifestyle, have the money to eat all meat (AKA atkins diet), lose 40 or 50 pounds.  Come back to school, here's 15 back... ok fine.  Stay a bit longer, whoah... here comes everything you lost originally, i assume you missed it.  gee, thanks.

     Losing weight makes it sound like you want it back later.  You LOSE your keys, innocent girls LOSE their virginity and innocence, teams LOSE games.  You want these things back!  Overweight people LOSE weight, because eventually, they're going to find it again.  By that time, those pounds have joined a support group, because when they come back, they bring friends.  Heathly, trim people LOSE weight too, but that's more like day care, drop it off, and pick it back up later, then drop it off again.

    Third, this weblog thing, it's tricky.  I think you have to examine what you're doing it for.  People use it to boost their ego and showcase themselves... others use it to share the events that make up their lives... some use it as a forum for discussion... others, as a personal diary...  I think i'm leaning towards a combination.  Right now, my thought is that it's a conversation with a good friend.  You can share a lot, but not everything you'd tell a close friend.  Maybe, this is the place i've been searching for lately.  I haven't had as many deep and moving conversations lately.  That's right, the mind fuck has been missing from my life.  Maybe i can get that through internal reflection...

    In my service learning classes weve discussed the importance of journaling to experiential learning.  Now, first off, experiential learning is just that, learning by experience.  Nothing brings home a lesson like applying it.  It truly hits home when the application means something to you, or impacts somebody else.  Taking the time to reflect on that impact, internalizes that lesson and makes it part of you. 

     It's funny, but i can't think of the word impact without thinking of AIESEC and those big mission & vision conversations.  If you re-read the paragraph above with those experiences in mind, it hits home why those conversations are so important, why reception is so important.  You need to talk about experiences to really understand and internalize them, to realize how you've changed.

    I'm really looking forward to this weblog being the thing I need pull myself out of my funk, get some solid introspection and well, just share some stuff that i think needs to be put out there in one form or another...

   Fourth, the picture that's up on Cat's weblog of her in the pool, i think i took that.  And oddly enough, it popped up on my screen saver this morning.  As i came out of my bedroom and looked at the computer, it switched from a really picturesque view of a covered bridge in indiana, to that picture of cat.  How odd... Anyway, i'm shocked that cat has me linked on her log... Damn, she's up on things too.  I'm honored that a neat woman that i've barely spent any time with has me linked.  I think we've had maybe two or three real conversations, and i'm KNOW that at least one or two of them were not sober at all.  But hey, i'm hoping to make it to the rowdy region reunion i just hope the AIESEC Purdue alumni don't want to meet on that weekend.  There could be issues if i'm going to be part of the group that organizes that event.

    Fifth, I hope Alicia's ok.  Our meeting for later today has been cancelled.  It's time to get started on conference stuff, and as OCP, I'm really interested in getting started soon.  Last week's conference was cancelled, and Alicia called last night to cancel again to see a doctor about her back.  Feel better soon!  I'm not really looking forward to all the drama that goes on with site selection, Celeste had a really fun time with that.  Personally, I'd like to see this summer's conference end up on either coast, or maybe in colorado.  Hopefully we can do it the weeks of August 11 or 18 as that would be during my summer break. 

   Yes, that's right, those two weeks are my summer break.  Well, you have to include a week during may between spring semester and the start of the first summer session.  It bites.  but i've been living the life of no breaks since March of '99 when i went back to school at COD.  Since then, i haven't taken any breaks from school.  NONE AT ALL.  This last winter break at purdue was four weeks, and that's the longest break i've had since i quit school in Jan '99.  YIKES.

    Anyway, It's a grey dreary day... it's time to get started.

     -BG

I'm closing with some links...

 The Engineering Projects In Community Service program here at Purdue.

An article about John Pomery, my first service learning professor.  An awesome guy, extraordinarily involved and caring individual, and quite possibly the heart of Purdue's effort for community engagement in learning.

No words of mine can console those grieving today.  I pray that those who seek closure and peace find it.  My heart goes out to those 7 astronauts and their families.  God be with you, Peace be with you.

     -BG