DICTIONARY CORNER

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.  The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?
And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Original Message:

From: Dusti.Lane at cdps.state.co.us

there are many things about my trip that must be catalogued, but there's one thing i can't get out of my mind, so it comes first. 

tuesday morning, Mike and i left boulder around 10:30 and headed east towards home.  about 1pm, i was napping and Mike was driving.  This first part comes from what Mike told me...

Traveling along, we started to pass a motor home trailing a small SUV behind.  when you pass a motor home, or a semi, you can just feel their presence next to you... it's like a wall.  well as we pulled even, Mike said it felt like the wall... went away.  The motor home drifted off onto the grass on the side of the high way.  once it did so, it started to smack the little reflectors on the side.  we think this must have startled or awoke the driver because he turned sharply back onto the highway.

This turn nearly caused the motor home to hit our car, (he maybe missed by about a foot) and the driver realized his mistake and over corrected again.  this is when Mike started yelling and i snapped awake. 

when i looked in the miror on my side of the car, i saw the motor home on it's side.  flipping, rolling, tumbling.  Mike said that the SUV had the largest most amazing impact ever as the motor home tumbled to a stop...

Mike stood on the brakes and brought our overloaded station wagon to a halt.  we both jumped out and started running back to the motor home now laying on it's side.  i don't remember grabbing my cell phone, but i do remember cursing at it to turn on... cursing at it to find a signal... swearing at 911 to answer

we grabbed things to pull from wreckage, to help the people inside.  i could see the old man who had been driving.  Mike says he didn't look real... i'm inclined to agree... his head had a large bleeding spot and he was very, very still.  i can remember how big his hands looked.  we tried to keep people away, and clear things to get anybody in the back but soon we were overwhelmed...

I was finally able to get through to 911, and backed off.  somebody else had gotten through before me, and they double checked a few essential details.  after i hung up, Mike and i shared a helpless look, and decided not to add to the throng of people clogging the accident site.  i've never felt so helpless.

we walked back to the car.

i wanted so badly to cry or throw up or something on the walk back.  the best i could do was throw up some prayers.

as we started to drive away, the song on the cd was something about it being better to be luck than good.  i hate the irony or coincidence or whatever put that on. 

Mike and i drove another 3 hours before stopping again.  we sat down for dinner and finally spoke since getting back into the car.  it seemed like Mike was taking things pretty personally, and i can't blame him.  my eyes water every time i think about the situation.

I've tried calling the colorado state highway patrol, and have even sent them an email... but i'm not really sure how to find out about how those poor people are doing.

I'm not sure i can put it out of my mind until i find out.

i'm out of the mountains.  truly an awesome experience.  later today we roll up to yellowstone... and then we head back down to salt lake city.  kam flies out of there tomorrow afternoon, and then mike and i have to make our way home.

not looking forward to 22 straight hours in a car again.  should money in the travel budget to sleep the night somewhere though...

anyway, look for an insane number of pictures of us up in the mountains... and an insane number of pictures from conference...

gotta run

whoah in an internet cafe in jackson's hole... gonna go hiking tomorrow morning... got her last night after leaving slc with KAM we talked him into staying a few extra nights and go hiking with us... he's never done it... though neither have i...

less than five minutes left...

had a really great time in slc, lots of stress some new friends, and a few good parties...

but i'm really psyched about this... everybody hope for a non-drunk dial from the top of the mountain... ;) maybe the phone'll work from up there...  ;)

then we drive kam back to slc, only a 5 hour detour one way... erpf... plans were made to be changed... and we're having a great time crammed into the walrus currently...

see you all soon ,and safe travels... be blogging again in a week... it's vacation time.

     -BG

Oi...

so, a quick run down of the life that has been living me lately.

last week... moving out of my apartment. erpf. packing everything up, is just not a good time. i'm blessed in that my mother came to help me. she's a master packer. unfortunately, my radar detector and ALL (72) CD's were stolen from my car. make me a copy of your favorites please... ;) did get everything out on saturday, thanks to my sister, brother in law, uncle and mother. then managed to get it all back to naperville on friday. if there were 18 cubic feet of storage space in the van we used 17.5 of it.

Saturday rolls around, and Mike was supposed to pick me up in the morning. He calls at 10am, hasn't packed and is just leaving his girl's place in south bend. so i figure... he'll arrive between 1 and 2... call him at 1:30, his parents say he'd left just a half hour prior. but had to roll into chicago to drop his brother off at his sister's. so he rolls in at 3 with his brother in the car with him. so we drop alex (the brother) off at a train station and say... good luck. lol. pack up move 'stuff round... and on the road at 5pm.

did i mention that i was driving to salt lake city?.. hmmmm as we're rolling we get a call from angie who can meet us in omaha at 9am... then we'll caravan and camp the rest of the way and arrive monday morning. hehheheh. we stop in omaha, and not only is it raining, but the campsites we stopped at were full. so we drive a bit further, i get a speeding ticket for speeding in a construction zone. mind you it's 1am saturday morning, nobody is working. and when i stopped for the cop, right next to a 75mph sign. we hadn't even broken 70 at all so far.

so, i get out of town, cuz omaha doesn't seem to like me... and lose cell reception. so we keep driving thinking the girls can catch up at the next campsite. got teeeny bits of reception, and left garbled messages on the girl's phones. didn't get decent reception until cheyenne. Mike and i decide to just push on through, sleep in a real bed on sunday, and be fresh on monday. we stopped at flaming gorge recreational area... but were dissapointed there were no trails to hike. we took a picture, with alice's picture, and moved on.

arriving in salt lake city, was beautiful. one of the prettiest drives i've ever partaken. wow. mountains, hills, nature, all that good stuff.

the girls call. their car has broken down. and they're 9 hours away. driving back to get them is not an option. they get back rolling, and arrive at 5 am. holly is a creeper sleeper. she almost chased me off the bed, but i did make a valiant last stand, and protected my space.

so now... the conference has semi-officially started. and i'm pretty ok with things. most of the OC is here, and they've got their shit together. we've all had some kind of drama in arriving. but we're together and we're past it. Celeste needs to get here SOON, cuz we miss her.

all the normal conference drama's are happening, not the right kind of space, and fun with internet, and packages... the food is excellent, the pool is fabulous and the setting is great. the weirdest thing, is working on WSC while doing all the SSC stuff...

to all of you who are yet to arrive, get here soon, we're gonna rock this place out.