Yup, packing up the room. Moving home. I
just don't want Purdue anymore. It's
personal/financial/familial issues, and it's just the way it
goes. Quite frankly, I'm glad to be able to move on.
I'll finish a degree soon, don't worry. I've left before,
and I'll be back soon. Only, not to Purdue. Till then,
I'll be in the 'burbs of Chicago. Please, don't call with
questions, it gets annoying trying to explain everything.
I'm not sure how this affects AIESEC, I'll figure things out
soon.
A Quick
Joke: A man returns from Africa feeling very
ill. He visits his doctor, who immediately rushes the guy to the
intensive care unit at the local hospital. The man wakes up to the
ringing of a telephone and answers it.
“We’ve received the results from your tests,” says the doctor on
the other end of the line. “Bad news—you have Ebola.”
“Oh, my God,” cries the man. “Doc! What am I going to do?”
“Don’t worry. First, we’re going to put you on a diet of pizza,
pancakes, and pita bread,” says the doctor.
“Will that cure me?”
“No, but it’s the only food we’ll be able to get under the
door.”
as for myself, i've definetely been off for a while. I'm
definetely as broken as the rest of you, more-so than many of you
think. but i moved closer to resolution this evening.
grabbed my new nickel
creek cd, and went for a bit of a walk. at 2:30. i
meandered through the rain over to columbian park, and sat atop the
giant play ground there... felt the storm roll in. experienced
it... leaned into the wind, watched the glitter of falling drops,
listened to the thump of the drips, smelled the flavours pushed by
the wind, discerned the whisper of the trees and grasses, rattled
with the thunder, replayed the lightning in colourful fading lights
on the backs of my eyelids...
being done with the whole of the lightning rod, i hid under an
overhang by the pond. the ducks came near, and i sang to
them. and told them all my thoughts. great listeners,
ducks, short on feedback and opinion, but they listen good. i
found a lull to walk back in, but was soon engulfued in the
storm. but now from my safe & warm tower, i watch the
storm fight the dawn, which in it's own grey way is slowly
winning. not quite symbolic, but it'll do.
so why all the drama?.. whew. i'm not sure i'm ready to tip
my hand. it's going to be a flurry of explaining, and then
more explaining. i'm not sure i've seen all the spillover
consequences for my current plan of action. but it would
definetely be another kink in my road less traveled. have
faith in me, and support my decisions.
Winnie, you totally got knocked over today. I wish you luck
in finding peace with your troubles.
Mike, after being
confused and unimpressed with your last post, I have new perspective
after talking with you... i'm sorry you have to manipulate.
eProps for the unstable waves you're surfing, for holding your
footing, for holding your heading, and for not knowing which way to
go. (you don't have to contradict me, I've already done
it.) I keep thinking of you when i hear this song...
Artist:
Nickel Creek
Album:
This Side
Title:
Green And
Gray
I'm in a room full of people, hanging
on one person's breath. We would all vote him most likely to be
loved to death. I hope he still wants it, but it might remind him
of when, he aimed for the bulls eye and hit it nine times out of
ten. That one time his hand slipped, and I saw the dart sail
away. I don't know where it landed, but I'm guessing between
green and gray. We thought nothing of it, but it still haunts him
like a ghost. With all eyes upon him, except two that matter the
most.
He says "Green is the color everyone sees all around
me. Gray is the color I see around her, and she's just a
blur." The more the corwd cheers, the less I can hear and they
don't really care what I play. It might be for her. But for now
it's between green and gray.
We paid and we cheered. Now we're gone
and to us that feels right. But for him every one of those
evenings turns into a night. With another hotel room where he
lays awake to pretend that he's doing fine with his notebook and
discman for friends.
He says "Green is the color everyone
sees all around me. Gray is the color I see around her, and she's
just a blur." Night after night what I hear, what I write fills
the room and my head starts to sway. It might be for her, but
for now it's between green and gray.
I want you to love me,
he whispers, unable to speak. And he wonders aloud why feelings
so strong make the body so weak. Then he awoke. Now he's scared
to death somebody heard. If it was you, and you know her, please
don't say a word.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
*
9/28/2003; 2:54:37 AM
Winnie
Thanks hun...I think getting my daily dose of
snuggling and kind words from you helps keep me a little more
balanced. =)
9/24/2003; 9:39:52 PM
Alex
Hey sweetie,
I've been reading your blog latley and it seems like
something's bothering you. If you ever want to talk you know
I'm always open and I never judge what other people do. Feel
free to call me anytime. Even though I do like to talk,
believe it or not I am also a really great listener too. Let
me know what's going on.
country : buffalo
9/24/2003; 1:23:45 PM
mikey
I just left you a buzz on the cell, but it was for
different reasons. Thanks so much for the comment, and that
song better have some good music hooked up to it, or I'm
committing suicide. Lyrics like that don't just fall out of
the sky...
Why were you walking at 2:30 in the morning? When people do
that kind of thing they are either hungry or have issues
concerning two things. Self-reliance, or love. So... I'm
making fliers for my business, trying to see if it'll work.
Hopefully it will! Props on your thoughts, and remember...
stoli is waiting for us in the
icebox!
last week at lunch i asked Mike Cave, Senior V.P. Commercial
Avaiation Service, Boeing Commercial Airplanes, about how his
personal goals affected how he made big decisions. he gave our
group an answer along the lines of it requires a lot of analysis and
fore thought. There may be the intended consequences, but it's
the unintended/spillover consequences you have to watch out
for. So after analysis, and looking at things carefully... the
one thing that's really important, is that you follow your
heart.
i'm contemplating a big, big change. more info to
follow.
Mostly, you should be impressed because i'm impressed with Mike and myself.
This weekend, and Mike
was hired to do sound. So we rocked out friday night with
his PA. But, in the process we managed to piss off the 'Family
Inn'. They did, at one point, threaten to call the cops.
So when we started up on Saturday night, we didn't last long before
being shut down. It was roughly mid-nite.
All the delegates were sent to a few rooms that wanted to be up
late to hang out. Mike and I hung our heads
in a smug shame, and packed up the PA. The plan was to go to
Alice's house and drink ourselves silly with the girls. But as
we did our goodbye rounds, we decided that it would be much more fun
to bring everybody with us. So, in the course of about 30 or
45 minutes we convinced all the drunkards to come with us, found
drivers and cars, got people over to the house, got the PA set up
and started shaking our ass. And then, just as seamlessly got
everybody home again...
Turning the death of a party, into an awesome house party.
That's mad skills. Thank you Alice, thank you Mike, thank you to all the
drivers, and thank you t'all the people who showed up!
AIESEC'rs always find a way to triumph.
LawMeme, a law and technology blog at
Yale Law School, has been in operation since 2001. The
organization focuses on the mutual influence of technological
development and legal doctrine, with a particular focus on civil
rights online, intellectual property, and the first amendment. The
blog is hosted at Yale and is operated by Yale students, but
submissions to the blog come from outside sources, too, and we
encourage all our readers to participate. For some more
information on submitting posts, check out this FAQ.
Some of you may have
noticed, I'm kinda into the whole issue of online privacy and other
technical goobly-gook. So I like the site.
They got me interested
in an author, Cory Doctorow. I downloaded and read
his book 'Down and Out in the Magic
Kingdom' and
split my time between reading it on my iPAQ and my computer.
The digital equivalent of not being able to put it down.
;) It concerns itself with how does society run after the
death of death and the death of scarcity. It also raises other
issues with the advances of technology and how it affects
humanity. I've since been reading his other works and I'm
loving them.
And damn Adam. I downloaded NewsGator, and now I'm going to have to
buy it cuz it rocks. (guess i'll have to NOT drink this
weekend so's i can move stuff around in my budget to buy it)
It's an add on to Outlook which goes to all your favorite sites with
an RSS feed, and downloads them so you
don't have to hunt them down. Really good for blogs, I don't
have to keep going to the main AIESEC Blog page. (how am i
ranking lately?) All my friends blogs come to me, instead of
me going to them. News too... Damn Xanga
for not supporting it.
Ooh, and those of you clicking on
comments and sending me stuff... Keep doing it, it doesn't show up
to everybody, I get to choose if it goes public.
oh, and a sidenote... WSC2004
is in St. Louis. hell
yeah.
rock on, keep blogging, be well, and
looking forward to brainwashing the newbies this weekend...
ahhhh good luck for me! a ladybug
on my nose. imagine me crosseyed looking at
it.
Krystal, sorry for
abandoning you and Becky online... i've been
hiding from techonology lately. haven't been inspired to be
creative, and i'm getting sick of blogging about my life. this
was never meant to be a catalogue of events... but a place of
thought and reflection...
oh well... keep questioning things... OOH, and when you come back
from tunisia, you better still be coming through indy, cuz i still
want to meet you, and raise hell with you... ;)
Do you think the people arguing for vengence realize... ''an eye
for an eye'' does not mean that we should attack somebody because
they attacked us? It's merely a call for fair
punishment. If a man takes an eye, take his eye. Before
it was put into use, it was common to take a life for an eye...
so for all those of you who thought i got eaten in the mountains,
i wasn't. only my shirt. by mini-bears. there's a
picture to prove it, but i can't get my pictures posted.
i have however, ignored technology lately. not
interested. well, it was broken for a while. no internet
at home, cell phone broken and then my email was busted. a
true trifecta, only thing missing was the cable going and my car
breaking. but there's still time.
living in a grad hall is interesting. small room.
'always on' internet connection. (the problems with which
were, actually my own fault) short commute to classes. short
commute to bars. no need to drive. no kitchen, but with
a mini fridge - not too expensive. strange people always
around, and asking you to be quiet. an east side room ensures
the sun wakes me up every morning. oooh... and room service to
come by to take the trash, clean the floor and tidy up. they'd
do my sheets too if i wasn't using my own. an 11th floor view
of a tiny town. free cable.
saw Celeste in chicago
last weekend. what an awesome girl. i'm really glad she
came up and also called me. went to china town for bubble tea
and dody's supplies. then to navy pier and to see '28 days
later.' had dinner with neil in a thai restaurant
afterwards. shared some good stories, and heard some good
stories. especially about shar and izzy... ;) hung out
with alice, lori, and Mike on friday and
saturday last weekend too. lots of wine, and dancing like '80s
freaks to george clinton... *S*
weekend before that was in the thrille... went home on friday and
hung out in the house with heather. saturday was spent with
the fam until it was time to go to the 'they might be giants'
concert. they kick ass. sooooo funny. afterwards
was a bottle of wine, (syrah) appetizer and dinner with
heather. kept her safe from a break in till her sister came
home. sunday was some more family time till they left to go to see
tony bennet at ravinia (outdoor venue) in the rain. then went
to heather's and cooked for her. monday (labor day) i drove
heather to northern illinois to her family's boat and saw my nephew
before heading back to campus.
don't get me wrong. i'm not dating heather. but i do
like her. i like a lot of other girls too. life is
good... ;)